- On April 1, 2018
Morgan Stanley reveals new slogan:
“Irreplaceable Brand. Interchangeable Advisors.”
April 1, 2018
Morgan Stanley’s newly appointed Executive Director announced the new “Bar Code Business Card” along with a national marketing launch surrounding their new slogan, “Irreplaceable Brand. Interchangeable Advisor.” during a shareholder’s breakfast meeting at IHOP this morning. Both are aimed at improving transition and retention measures for clients and advisors.
Shirley Knott, the denovo Executive Director of Digital and Millennial (DAM) Advisors, gave a slideshow presentation that mesmerized the attendees with her exuberance and expressive arm and hand motions.
She began by passing out examples of the new barcode business cards and providing a link for mobile app download to demonstrate the card design and strategy. Knott summarized, “This barcode business card and new slogan reflect our belief that our clients are exactly that…ours.”
She added, “We believe clients prefer a relationship with our brand more than with any one advisor. We have a lot of greedy and ungrateful advisors who do not know their place. It is the Morgan Stanley brand that has been around for 83 plus years; individual advisors simply come and go or get old and die. We want our clients to know that our advisors are interchangeable. Therefore, by unanimous decision, our board approved the new slogan, “Irreplaceable Brand. Interchangeable Advisors.”
The barcode is read by a phone application and automatically dials the advisor linked to the business card. The call is rerouted to the DAM advisor call center if the call is not answered after two rings.
“We are paving the way for an easier transfer of clients, and more importantly their assets, from all of the old advisors we have over here. I mean you should see some of these crypt-keeper lookalikes, most of them are, like, my parent’s age… and even older!” Knott explained with a shiver.
“We’ve placed our priorities on the future, not the past, thus the barcode. We’re trying to make the transition of taking over existing clients easier for them,” she said. “Our digital gurus and millennial advisors have salaries that are more cost-effective, not to mention that they don’t have gross wrinkly faces and are much better dressers”.
“Building a practice from cold calling, networking, and referrals is a lot of hard work. Fortunately for us, we have an abundance of old timers that have already put that work into building practices we own.” She continued, “But it’s our DAM advisors that we appreciate and admire now. Our DAM advisors are dedicated to work-life balance and self-awareness. They believe in working smarter not harder, which is really, like, “World Wise” when you think about it. Now it is simply a manner of out with the old and in with the new. It might take a few years, of course, but it is all exhilarating.”
Knott shared that the retiring advisor sunset program is on the chopping block as well. “A lot of these advisors think that they should get a big payoff just for working with our, and I repeat our clients, all these years. They already got paid for their past work. It’s time to step aside and allow my generation to get paid on these clients now. These grey-hairs don’t belong in our branches anymore. Most of them belong in a nursing home if you ask me.”
This is Shirley Knott’s first held career position of any kind since graduating college last spring. In responding to a shareholder question about her lack of experience, she responded that she didn’t appreciate either the question nor the sarcastic tone. She replied she has a double major in Art History and Nutrition, a Master’s Degree in Philosophy, and that her impressive number of Facebook and Instagram followers make her more than qualified for the Executive Director of Digital and Millennial advisors.
Click Here to View Slideshow
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